Dear whoever, A Reborn advice column
by Ryokou
Summary: If you've ever wanted to ask these fabulous mafioso or their freinds and family a question, this is the fic. for you. Collab. fic with RainbowMushrooms, rating may change in future chapters. A purely fan-driven story.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, lets get this thing started!

So, this type of advice fic. Was originally done by somebody other than me, and I have no way to figure out exactly who. I ve noticed things like this for Naruto, Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist and Fruits Basket, but I have not yet noticed one for our beloved KHR series.*

You all know those Dear Abby advice columns in the newspaper, right? Well, this is exactly like one of those, exept for a key point; instead of some obscure Abby answering your questions, It will be your favourite KHR characters! They will answer your questions about pretty much anything, so don t be afraid to ask. Put your question in a review, and me and (Rainbow Mushrooms) will answer them ASAP, at least once a week, so you won t have to wait long. Just make sure you specify which character you want to answer the question, because if you don t, it will be completely random! (A/N: (explosivedevice) sweatdrops guys, I am really, really close to catching up in the chapters online, and I can cover most all of the characters. If there is one you would like to have answer a question, and I don t know him/ her, it will be a different author writing for them, as in, I will get someone who knows the characters personality to answer. I don t want the question being weird because I have not met a specific person yet.)

We will put several Questions in each chapter, so yours will certainly show up! (You know, if it's reasonably appropriate. We don't mind suggested/allusions to smut, but we aren't writing a lemon...at least, THIS ONE isn't a lemon. ^_^)

Thank you.

~ ExplosiveDevice and Rainbow Mushrooms 


	2. Chapter 2: The first questions

"Ciaossu." the arcobaleno said, taking the stage in front of a rather large assembled group.

The noise gradually died down as everybody in the small auditorium noticed Reborn.

_Everybody is here..._ Reborn noticed with a start. _Even the ones I didn't invite..._he thought, seeing Kyoko Sasagawa and Miura Haru sitting in the center of the front row, smiling up at him.

Technically though, the only people who should be there at all were the family members who were to be asked questions.

But with the Vongola family, it was never that simple.

"First of all, I'd like to ask why everybody is here." The home tutor frowned. "If I recall, I asked Tsuna, Squalo, Xanxus, Belphegor, Hibari, and Lambo. We're just doing a couple of interviews for a weekly television spot, so nobody else needs to be here."

A laugh rang out from the third row of the crowded space as Yamamoto Takeshi stood up, smiling sheepishly. "Well, Reborn-san, aren't television shows often taped in front of a large audience?" the rain guardian asked, scratching his head.

"Don't be stupid!" Gokudera hissed, pulling Yamamoto down by his sleeve. "If Reborn wants us to leave, we leave!" the spitfire bomber continued, standing up and keeping his hold on Yamamoto's arm. "We'll be going now." he apologized, looking up at the child on the stage.

"No, Gokudera-kun, it's ok." Tsuna called out from the other side of the auditorium. "Isn't it Reborn?" he asked, turning to look at the arcobaleno. "I-I mean, everybody is already here, so..." he stuttered, gesturing around to the full seats.

"Even Chrome showed up. And Fuuta and Bianchi! They obviously took some time out of their days to be here."

Reborn looked out over the audience.  
_It's certainly a good family..._ he thought to himself, smiling slightly. At least, they're dedicated to a probably surprised him the most was that the entire Varia group showed up. They sat in the back row, talking none-too-quietly to themselves.

"Ok, Gokudera and Yamamoto. You two can sit down." the child said, pulling a set of cards from his front pocket. "Everyone else can stay too, if they like. Meanwhile, I need Xanxus, Lambo, Belphegor, Squalo, Hibari, and Tsuna up on stage." he said, gesturing to six chairs that sat next to him. "Please go around to the side of the stage and use the stairs there."

There was a small disturbance in the crowd as the aforementioned people got up from their seats and headed towards the stage.

"I have questions for the six of you on the cards here, and next week, the questions will be for different people, so don't be surprised if I call you here later." Reborn said. "I hope that's clear."

By now, the chairs on the stage were occupied, except for one.

"Reborn-san!" called out Kyoko, raising her hand.

"Yes Kyoko?" the small boy asked, still preoccupied with the one empty chair.

"Where's Lambo?"

"That's just it. Lambo-kun isn't here."

"Well, why not?" Reborn asked.

"I don't know, but he was with me thi-"

"VOII! Why does it even matter if the stupid cow is here today?! We can ask his goddamn question later!!" Squalo shouted, clearly unhappy about wasting his time like this.

"S-Squalo-san!" Tsuna stuttered from his chair next to the long-haired swordsman. "Please don't yell like that, you're scaring Kyoko!" He said, gesturing towards his friend.

Sure enough, the small brunette girl sat down, shaking slightly.

"Yes, Squalo, Shut up." Xanxus said quietly. "She's the boss' bride-to-be, we have to treat her with respect, however stupid that may be."

The audience looked up at the commotion onstage displaying varying levels of shock and amusement. To tell the truth, everybody looked shocked, with the exception of Mukuro and the remaining members of the Varia, who just looked like they were enjoying themselves.

"First Question." Reborn said, choosing to ignore everybody. "For Hibari."

The raven-haired prefect looked up slightly as Reborn turned to him.

As the arcobaleno tutor spoke, the question appeared on a large television screen hanging behind the people onstage.

_Dear Hibari-san,_

_There have been a lot of herbivores flocking around me lately. What's worse is, they seem to like me! How do I get rid of them? Unfortunately, I cannot 'bite them to death', seeing as I might get sent to prison._

_Also, what shampoo do you use? I can't help but notice your lovely hair. _

_Sincerely, 37kun_

Hibari glanced to Reborn, closing his eyes slightly as if this was the most boring thing he had ever done.

"Herbivores only flock with each other, so you must be a herbivore. Also, you couldn't 'bite them to death' if you tried." he said, frowning slightly and settling back in his chair. "I don't help herbivores, and as for the shampoo question, that's just stupid. If you ask me anything else, I'll bite you to death."

"His shampoo smells like strawberries..." Murmured a voice from the crowd that sounded suspiciously like Dino.

"Many apologies Hibari, but we have one more question for you." Reborn said, unfazed by the prefect's threat, and ignoring Dino, though he couldn't help but wonder how the blonde Italian knew this.

_Hibari,_

_How do you get rid of all your schoolwork? _

_I've had the flu for the past week and a half, and so I haven't gone to school. I have lots of make-up work._

_You must have a great study schedule, since you always seem to be guarding Namimori and not doing school work. _

_-Zelfie_

Hibari simply glared at the screen. "You really think those herbivores would dare give me schoolwork?"

Reborn sighed. _These kids..._

"Thank you Hibari, you may leave now, if you see fit."

Wordlessly, the dark-haired teenager stood up and left the stage.

"The next question is for Lambo...although he isn't here. I'll try to answer for him. But as a side note, if anybody sees him, be sure he comes to see me."

The crowd mumbled their general agreement to find the cow-printed child as a new question appeared on the monitor.

_Lambo,_

_I know when you use the TYL! Bazooka, you always gain ten years, unless it's broken. But how many times can you use it in succession? Could you get up to 50 years later?_

_-Ellie_

"Well," Reborn began calmly, "It really just depends on how much Giannini messed up. Ideally, you should only be able to go up to ten years later, but we've done more. I hope that answers your question."

"But who really wants to see that cow fifty years later? I understand ten years later, he's beautiful, but nobody is pretty at fifty-five." a voice from the Varia section, that could only be Lussuria commented.

As rude as they all knew that was, everybody laughed, at least a little bit.

"This next question is for Xanxus, Squalo, and Belphegor." the home tutor announced, wiping the smile from his face.

_Dear Xanxus, Squalo, and Bel, _

_If you were stuck on an island together, with no food or civilization, who would you eat first, and why?_

_-Bambola Tempesta_

At this, Belphegor shifted uncomfortably in his seat, Squalo looked expectantly at Xanxus, and Xanxus opened his mouth to speak. "I could care less, though I've always wanted to try shark-fin soup." he said, eyeing Squalo.

"VOII! XANXUS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Squalo screamed, indignant. "BEL OVER HERE IS THE ANNOYING ONE!!"

"Shishishi." Bel laughed. "Not true, Squalo, at least if you keep yelling like that. I, for one, support Xanxus' decision, and you should too. He's our Boss, after all, and it's our job to support him."

"You little fucker!! You wouldn't think that if he wanted to eat you!! And he would have no qualms about eating you right now, so don't be so goddamn smug!!" Squalo yelled. He may have toned his voice down, but it was still enough to shatter a couple of eardrums. Tsuna visibly winced, covering his ears.

"Ok, that answers that." Reborn said, deftly flipping to a new card. "Xanxus, there's another for you."

_Xanxus, _

_If you had to chose between saving Squalo and saving Belphegor in a fight, which would it be, and why?_

_-Bambola Tempesta_

"They're both trash to me. I honestly couldn't care less. They can save themselves." The Varia boss deadpanned.

The two guardians on either side of Xanxus went silent.

"Fuck this." Squalo announced.

"I'm not one to tell you how to run your family, but that's just wrong." Tsuna muttered, shaking his head.

"All right, Dame-Tsuna, the next three questions are for you." Reborn said, flipping to the last three cards in his hand.

_Dear Tsunayoshi-sama, _

_You have the best friends on earth, what's your secret? And also, what brand of gravity-defying hair gel do you use? I'd like to test it out on my cosplay wig. _

_-37kun_

"I didn't do anything to get my friends." Tsuna admitted sheepishly. "I sometimes think I don't deserve them. But they're the best friends anybody could ever have, and I'm very, very lucky to have them with me."

At this, the audience clapped and cheered.

"As expected from the tenth!" Gokudera shouted as Haru and Kyoko cheered. "Thank you Tsuna!" Dino yelled, amidst various other shouts of encouragement and kind remarks towards the tenth Vongola boss.

The crowd quieted down again when Tsuna began to speak.

"And as for the other question..." Tsuna faltered, "My hair is naturally like this, I wake up in the morning exactly this way." He smiled slightly. "Although I usually brush it, at least when I have the time. I hope that was an ok answer..."

"It's fine, Tsuna." Reborn commented, putting up the last question.

_Tsuna,_

_Do you like Hibari, or Mukuro better? Also, what do you think of your ancestor, Giotto? (AKA. Vongola Primo.)_

_-Chococandyz_

"Eh?!" Tsuna squeaked, looking up to make sure he had seen the question correctly. He looked at the question, and then into the audience at his mist guardian, (who seemed to somehow be there instead of Chrome, at the moment.) All Tsuna could do was thank his lucky stars Hibari had left earlier.

"U-Um...I respect them both a lot, and I like them...although they're rather scary. I can't say I like either of them more than the other." the brown-haired boy answered, stuttering on nearly every other word.

"Kufufu." Mukuro laughed from his seat next to Ryohei. "Good answer, Sawada."

Tsuna relaxed in his seat a little, comforted by the illusionist's apparent satisfaction with the answer.

"And as for Vongola Primo, I also respect him a lot, and feel honoured to be related to him, however distantly." he smiled slightly. "Also, the zero-point breakthrough is amazing and useful, so when I meet him again, I'd like to thank him."

Reborn nodded at the small group assembled onstage, and then at the audience. "That's all we have for tonight, but I hope to see you all next week, as the questions might be for you. You're all dismissed, and please remember to search for Lambo."

**A/N:(explosiveDevice) Thank you all for the questions, this chapter couldn't have happened without them! With your help, I have a feeling we could keep this going for a while. ^_^ Question and Answer columns are kinda hard, so constructive criticism is appreciated. Thanks for reading, and if you have any questions for the characters, don't hesitate to put them in a review! We will get to all of them. Thank you so much. **

**A/N:(Rainbow Mushrooms) Thanks to everyone that reviewed! We'll try and continue for a long time, but of course we need reviews for that! *hint hint* Thanks again!**


	3. Chapter 3

Reborn stepped onto the large stage once more, and the audience quickly became silent. Once again, everyone was present, but the infant knew better than to ponder on it.

"Alright, I assume that all of you know why you are here today," said the arcobaleno. "Last week's session was quite successful, so we are continuing. Could Tsuna, Kyoko, Xanxus, Belphegor, Ryohei, Gokudera, Hibari, Squalo, Mukuro, Spanner and Dino please come to the stage."

There was a small gasp of surprise from Kyoko. "Eeh? Me as well?" she asked incredulously.

"Wow, Kyoko-chan, I'm so jealous!" exclaimed Haru, who was seated next to her.

Reborn sighed. These kids sure were an annoying bunch. "Just get onto the stage," he ordered.

"But what about Spanner-san?" asked the Tenth-Generation Vongola boss. "He's working!"

"Dame-Tsuna, didn't I tell you to get on the stage? Don't make me force you!" came the quick reply, followed by the typical "Hii!" and Tsuna clambering onto the stage as Dino tripped and fell onto him.

"Ouch…" said the blonde-haired mafia boss.

"That's right! Dino-san subordinates aren't here with him!" said Tsuna as realization dawned on him. But he was quickly silenced as he felt a murderous aura directed towards him.

"Stupid herbivore, get out of my position, or I'll bite you to death!" threatened Hibari. Tsuna scrambled out from under Dino, and the audience wisely said nothing.

"Alright, if you're done, let's get onto the questions," said Reborn, breaking the awkward silence.

"First question is for Dame-Tsuna."

The said boy gulped slightly as the question appeared on the screen. And as it did, the room was filled with shock.

_Dear Tsuna,  
Why can't you be a man?  
-Bambola Tempesta_

"HEY!" yelled Gokudera. "You have no right to speak to the Tenth that way! The Tenth is the greatest! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO INSULT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At which Gokudera went into a rage and took out his dynamite, his eyes ablaze.

"G-Gokudera-kun!" yelled Tsuna in an effort to stop his friend, but his words fell onto deaf ears. In the end, it took all the members on the stage, as well as a swift kick from Reborn, to stop the bomber. Though they were no longer in danger of being blown up, they still had not managed to completely calm Gokudera down. He sat down, fuming.

"W-Well, I've always been Dame-Tsuna, so I still act kind of weak and cowardly when I'm not in my Dying Will Mode. This life is kind of hard, and really dangerous as well, and I guess… that I'm just scared!" The boy blushed and sat down quickly. But he was incredibly surprised as the auditorium erupted into applause.

"Tsuna was incredibly brave, to be able to say it just like that," said Yamamoto happily. Soon, the clapping died down.

"Then, next is Dino," said Reborn.

The man nodded and smiled as the question appeared on the board.

_Dino-san,  
Which one would you choose to exchange with Enzio? Hibird or Leon?  
-shizu Fumikari_

Dino laughed. "Well, Enzio sure is annoying, but I wouldn't exchange him! He causes a lot of problems, but he is my partner, and Reborn wouldn't let me have Leon anyway, and Hibird is Kyouya's. But even if I could have them, I can't really choose! Leon is really useful, but Hibird is so cute- just like its owner!"

Once again, the audience was silent. They chose not to notice the blush that appeared on the head prefect's cheeks, and watched as another question was shown.

_Dear Dino,  
Could you tell me what kind of shampoo Hibari uses? He does have nice hair, and doubt he'll answer the question himself.  
-SKF_

Once again, Dino laughed. "I can't remember! Wait, Reborn, let me go home and check! You guys can continue without me." And he made a move to exit, but he was stopped by Hibari himself. "Don't you even dare!" hissed the cloud guardian.

"B-But Dino-san, why would you have Hibari-san's shampoo?" asked Tsuna timidly, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.

"Well, ever since we started taking showers toge-umph!" Dino's words were cut off as he was thrown back by a tonfa. He would remain silent for the rest of the session.

The audience stared at him, then at Hibari, but they kept quiet and waited patiently for the next question.

"Alright, the next question is for Kyoko," continued the arcobaleno.

_Kyoko,  
Do you think of Tsuna as more than a friend?  
-Bambola Tempesta_

Looking at this, Tsuna blushed deeply and looked at the girl, waiting uncertainly for an answer.

"Of course I do!" she answered immediately. "Tsuna-kun is the one who has helped us get through so much, he protected us and got us back to the past, and we've had lots of fun together! He has done so many things that a simple friend couldn't do, and I'm really happy to know him!" The girl smiled happily.

"Kyoko-chan…" said Tsuna, tears welling up in his eyes. But a kick from Reborn woke him, and he yelped in pain.

"Dame-Tsuna, we don't need you being a crybaby on us now. There are still lots of questions," said the home tutor mercilessly. "Next is Gokudera."

The said-mafioso gulped and looked warily at the screen.

_Dear Gokudera-kun,  
If you are the so-called 'right-hand-man' of Tsunayoshi-sama who would do anything for his well-being, why the heck would you smoke near him all the time? Don't you know that second-hand smoking is very harmful to your health and it'd ruin Tsuna's skin!? D:  
-ThreeWayDart_

Gokudera's face paled. "The Tenth's skin? I-I've been damaging the Tenth's BEAUTIFUL SKIN?!" Tsuna's faced gave a distinct blush, and a jealous growl came from a certain swordsman in the audience. "HOW COULD I DO SUCH A THING!? TENTH!!! FEEL FREE TO PUNISH ME AS YOU WISH!" And the silver-haired teen lowered himself onto his knees and continuously banged his head onto the ground. Reborn sighed impatiently. _'These kids are so annoying.'_

"Next question," he said out loud, silencing the bomber.

_Gokudera,  
Do you have a thing for Yamamoto? Do you have a thing for Bel? Where do you live?  
-Bambola Tempesta_

Gokudera twitched. A vein popped in his forehead. "Definitely not that knife-freak!" he yelled in annoyance. There was silence. And more silence. But he didn't deny anything else. In the audience, Yamamoto burst out laughing.

"And as for where I live," continued Gokudera, silencing the rain guardian with a glare, "My home is wherever the Tenth is." Only a few people heard his whispered, "And that baseball-idiot as well," but they simply smiled and said nothing The screen flashed once more, and another question appeared.

_Umm…Gokudera-kun,  
I've been wondering, how can you hide so much dynamite in your clothes and still look so normal? Uh… do you hide the dynamite in your boxers too?  
-shizu Fumikari_

Gokudera looked smug at this. "As the Tenth's right-hand-man, I have to be able to protect him at all times. Having lots of dynamite is simple for me! But no, I don't hide it in my boxers. That would be gross."

Yamamoto's laugh was loud, to say the least. "Because the only thing in there is-" But his words were cut off by Gokudera, who was pointing Flame Arrow at him. "I dare you to finish that sentence." For once, Yamamoto was wise enough to shut up.

"Alright, we'd better get to Hibari, or he'll get angry again," interrupted Reborn, wanting to speed up the session. He pressed a button and the question was revealed.

_Hibari,  
Where do you live? What made you choose tonfas as a weapon?  
-Bambola Tempesta_

"Herbivores don't deserve to know where my home is. I hate that horrible place anyway. My school is much better. And I chose tonfas because I don't like those other weapons that all the herbivores use. I'm obviously too good for them." The answer came immediately, and once again, Reborn questioned the cloud guardian's upbringing.

_Hibari-san,  
Umm…H-how many times did you lose to Dino-san when you were training with him? Please don't bite me to death for asking that question!  
-shizu Fumikari_

Hibari growled and glared at the screen. "I didn't lose. I simply did not win." His tonfas were raised. "Anyone who disagrees shall be bitten to death." Unsurprisingly, no one disagreed. There was a deathly silence as the next question was shown.

_Dear Hibari,  
You're my 3rd favourite character, yes that does mean Mukuro has beat your ass in popularity, even at my school he has. So yeah go wallow in a emo corner or something...that is, after you answer my question. Why do you say 'I'll bite you to death,' I mean really there has gotta be some reason behind the wording of that phrase. And it's not even true seeing as how you actually pummle them to death with you'e tonfa's...or handcuffs ~Resisting urge to laugh~  
-SanninSongo_

Hibari glared at the screen. The screen seemed to recoil slightly (wind? Or fear?). "I'll bite you to death," he said murderously. "How dare you speak to me in such a way. I'll kill you along with that stupid illusionist." He pulled out his tonfas again, and Reborn wisely continued before the stage was destroyed.

"Squalo's turn," said the arcobaleno.

_Squalo,  
If you had to choose anyone in the Varia to keep as an eternal companion (not as a lover or anything like that unless you'd want it ;D) who would it be?  
-Bambola Tempesta_

"VOOOI!! You bastard! Why would I tell you something like that?!" yelled the Varia swordsman, and people put their hands over their ears. "All of these guys are weak bastards! Except for the boss of course!" corrected the man immediately, as Xanxus began to raise his hand.

"So you choose Xanxus then?" asked Reborn, smirking.

"N-Not as a lover! It hurts when he does it anyway!" Silence ensued, and there were many choking noises coming from the audience.

"Okay then," interrupted the hitman. "Next."

_Dear Squalo-san,  
To better study some guy's fighting style when you were in school, you cut off your right hand, right? I can see how it wouldn't cause a problem during fights, but what about when you're not fighting? Do you really wear your sword all the time?  
-Ivy-san_

"YEAH, I WEAR IT ALL THE TIME!!!!" The room shook, and a few people's eardrums popped. "WE'RE ASSASINS, WE HAVE TO BE READY FOR ANYTHING, ANYTIME!!!" The audience smiled. It was nice to know that the Varia would be ready to fight if anything came up.

"Now, it's Ryohei's turn," said Reborn. The question popped up onto the large screen.

_Ryohei,  
What's under your EXTREME nose bandaid? :O  
-Bambola Tempesta_

"There are EXTREME scars there!! From my fight with some EXTREME sempai! Which I won in an EXTREME style!!" said the boxer, his eyes alight as he remembered the moment.

Kyoko giggled. "The scars aren't actually there anymore, but Onii-san hasn't noticed. It's been over a year since they healed." The others weren't surprised. The sun guardian was not famous for being observant.

"Okay, let's move on to Bel," said Reborn, stopping the laughter.

_Dear Belphegor,  
I'm not a scary person. And I fail at making threats. I'm like poor Dame-Tsuna with a dash of bullying. How do I scare them off? I bow before you're genius, princely brain.  
-KitsuNova_

"Ushishishi… All you have to do is to become like me. No one will dare to bully you then. Instead they will bow before you, and you will rule over them. But, that is impossible. Only I can be the ruler," said the Varia storm guardian, with his creepy smile.

"Alright then, next question," and the screen flashed once more.

_Dear Belphegor,  
First off you're my 4th favourite character, feel honored.  
But my question is: Why do you hide you're eyes?...And a real answer is not the 'because I'm a prince' bullshit.  
Secondly, what color are your eyes, and once again the actual answer is not the 'because I'm a prince stuff.  
And finally why do you have that laugh, there has to be some kind of psychological reason behind it.  
-SanninSongo_

"Oh? You dare challenge my royal blood? You are pretty brave!" muttered Bel, pulling out a few knives. "How would you like to taste your own blood?" But he was stopped by Xanxus. "Hurry up and answer the question. I'm bored."

Bel smiled again. "If you say so, Boss. My eyes are hidden by my hair, which is styled specially for my crown. I have to be ready to accept the throne at any time… As for my eyes… they a colour too beautiful for you commoners to see. You would never understand if I told you their colour. And my laugh is the opposite of that despicable brother of mine, and I can scorn him this way…"

"Alright, next."

_Bel,  
I recently watched Saw VI and I laughed at certain peoples' demises. Does this make me a bad person? :O  
-Bambola Tempesta_

"Ushishishi… of course it does. If you don't laugh at those idiots, you must be weak and stupid. We have to be all bad people in my world, or I will order your execution!" The boy(?) licked his lips and many people shuddered.

"Now, it's Xanxus' turn," said the arcobaleno.

_Xanxus,  
Do you think Bel is sexy? Do you think Squalo is sexy?  
-Bambola Tempesta_

"… Both of them are useless trash. They can both go die for all I care. I don't need them in my life. They are simply my toys." After saying this, the man stood up and left.

"Wait, Boss!" The rest of the Varia quickly ran out after him. There were many sighs of relief.

"Mukuro's turn," continued Reborn, and another question appeared.

_Dear Mukuro,  
You're my favourite character feel totally and utterly honored. But my question is: Why do you laugh like you do? And also why have you got your hair in the pineapple style, I adore it but still, why a pineapple?  
-SanninSongo_

"Kufufu… I am indeed honoured. My laugh is a special laugh, made from my experiences in hell. But… my hair is NOT styled after a pineapple! Got that?" For a split second, a face of annoyance slipped past the mist guardian's smirk, but it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

"Next." Another question appeared on the screen.

_Dear Nappo-san (Mukuro),  
Is your hair really modelled after a pineapple? It's the question everyone's dying to know…  
PS. Love ya, don't you agree you need more screen time?_

Mukuro shook slightly. "For the last time, it is NOT a pineapple!" But then it was gone. "Thank you for supporting me. I should have more screen time. I don't have enough chances at destroying the Mafia this way."

"Alright, next question.-"

"ARGHH!!! IT'S NOT A PINEAPPLE!!!" The number in his eye changed to "一*" and the stage began to crumble , the section separating and floating away from each other. The mist illusionist was now surrounded by an angry mist flame, and an evil aura. "Mukuro! Calm down!" Tsuna yelled. The man jolted slightly, before stopping his illusion. "Kufufu… Sorry, Tsunayoshi. It seems that I got carried away."

Now that the trouble was over, Reborn continued. "Next is Spanner."

"B-But Reborn! Spanner-san isn't here!" protested the Vongola Tenth. But he gave a quick "Hii!" as a King Mosca landed next to him. "Yo, Vongola," greeted the mechanic as he walked out. "Oh? You look kind of pale. Did something scare you?" Tsuna stuttered slightly, but did not say anything.

"Alright Spanner, this is your question."

_Dear Spanner-san,  
Exactly where do you get those human-batteries you use for your Mosca? Are you the mastermind behind the mafia kidnapping children in the Orient?  
-ThreeWayDart_

"Hmm? Using human-batteries was a ridiculous technique from many years ago. My Mosca are much more advanced than that. They are powered by my own special-batteries." The man glanced at Giannini and Shoichi. "I won't reveal how they work."

"Okay then, the last question is for me." The hitman pressed a button, and the final question was revealed.

_ Dear Reborn...  
Since we all assume you know everything there is to know, what happens if everything making up the Tri-ni-sette (7-3) policy is destroyed?_

Reborn pulled his fedora down, his eyes glinting evilly. "Are you trying to gain information about the Tri-ni-sette? I do know the answer, but I cannot tell you. I have to follow the arcobaleno law." He smirked slightly. "Let's just say that it includes a lot of pain for Dame-Tsuna here."

"Eeh?! Why me?!" yelped Tsuna.

Leon turned into a gun. "Don't question me," threatened the infant. He turned to the audience. "That ends our second session. Be prepared to come again. If you don't turn up, I'll have to kill you."

It was then ascertained that everyone would be present at the next few sessions.

* * *

*: One in kanji.

**A/N (RainbowMushrooms) Thanks again to everyone that reviewed! I was hapy that this was so popular, but you gave me S-T-R-E-S-S. But for this, stress is good ^^. And if any questions were missed, I'm really sorry. And sorry as well to gloaming grove and XxSpicySugarxX. You're questions were a little late, but we'll do them first next chapter~!**

**A/N: (ExplosiveDevice) All I have to say for this chapter is thanks for all the questions being asked! And the sooner you guys put in reviews, the sooner we write. =) Arigato Gozaimasu!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: (RainbowMushrooms) Sorry that it took so long guys! Miria-san has been really busy  
lately, but she still wrote this! Applaud her, and then you can murder me~~  
Thanks for reading everyone!**

**A/N: (ExplosiveDevice) Yeah, this took a lot longer then planned...with term finals and everything going on, it's kinda hard to keep up *sweatdrop* But hopefully, you'll all enjoy this chapter, and give us even more questions to answer next time! =)  
Thanks as always! 3 -Miria**

* * *

"Well, it seems as if this will continue for a while." Reborn begun, climbing the large stool to take his place on the stage. He looked out at the crowd. Not all of the Varia was present this time, in fact, only Belphegor, Xanxus, and Squalo had made it this time. Nevertheless, the assembled group was larger then ever. "We might be here longer then usual," he continued, absently looking at his notecards. "The station has offered us a permanent spot on the show, and today's segment could take 30 or more minutes. But if you're all ready, lets start." He pressed the small button on his pedestal, and 13 names appeared on the screen behind him. "I'm going to ask that, if it's not your question, please don't interrupt. we don't need your opinions on the matter. I need Dame-Tsuna, Xanxus, Fran, Nana, Mukuro, Hibari, Gokudera, Yamamoto, Bianchi, Dino, Belphegor, Squalo, and Spanner up here now." Reborn glanced at the chairs behind him, noticing only five. As if on cue, a young stage hand dressed in black ran on, dragging a stack of chairs behind him. He wordlessly began setting them out as the aforementioned people took their places on the chairs.

"Before we begin with individual questions, we have one for everybody." Reborn stated, as the text on the screen was replaced.

_What's your opinion on first kisses? -XxspicysugarxX_

There was a moment of silence as the crowd read this.

"Do you want our answers too?" Haru called out from the front row of the audience.

Reborn sighed. "Haru, did I say everyone?"

"Yes?" Haru responded. "But maybe you meant just the people on the stage."

Reborn simply rolled his eyes and looked around for an answer. "Well?"

Kyoko tenatively raised her hand from where she sat next to Haru.

"Well, I think it can be really amazing, if you care about the person a lot." she said with an almost questioning tone to her voice. Haru nodded her head in agreement, and Bianchi gave a thumbs-up from the stage. Some of the guys rolled their eyes and looked at eachother knowingly.

"Tsuna. Your opinion?" Reborn asked, though it was really more of a demand.

The brown haired boy shrank a bit in his seat. He was always the one picked on.

"Um-Eh, I guess I agree with Kyoko...if you don't really like the person, it wouldn't be anything special, would it?"

"Good answer, Jyuudaime!" Gokudera said, a little louder then he needed to be.

"Ok, Gokudera. Can you elaborate?,"the arcobaleno prodded, raising an eyebrow at the storm guardian.

"What?!" The Italian shouted, flustered "I Don-I Don't have an opinion on this trivial stuff! I just thought the boss was right, as he always is! Kisses are nothing special, and they never should be!" All the while, he avoided eye contact with anybody, instead choosing to look at the floor, blushing.

"Since you seem in the mood to talk, you'll go first on the questions, Gokudera." Reborn instructed, putting a new set of text on the screen.

_If Tsuna asked you, would you cross-dress? What if Yamamoto asked? -chococookiesld_

"What?! You guys are all crazy!" the bomber yelled, thrusting his hands into his pockets. Unfortunately for him, Reborn had made sure Gokudera didn't have his dynamite with him, specifically for this reason.

Realizing this, Gokudera sighed, and was resigned to simply cursing to express his displeasure. "Maybe if it was for a fucking mission, that the whole family depended on. ONLY then."

"Kufufu." Mukuro laughed from his seat next to the bomber. "Gokudera-kun, it seems as if you've forgotten the second part of the question."

Gokudera looked behind him, at the screen.

"Oh, hell no." he responded simply.

As usual, Yamamoto merely laughed.

_Gokudera, you DO know that when you stress your boss out by waving dynamite around you're shortening his life right? -khope_

"W-What?! Nonono! I Don't! I mean...I don't mean to! Jyuudaime, does it stress you out that badly?!" Gokudera asked, fumbling his words around in shock.

"Ehh? No, Um, Gokudera...it does stress me out, a little bit, but so many things do lately....You're not the only one shortening my life span."

The crowd murmered their general discontent. Many promises to elongate Tsuna's life span were made that day.

_Gokudera-kun, I've been wondering for a long time..how do you gain your financial? Umm..you run away from house so your parents wasn't the one who paid your school fee and etc..and part time job should be impossible, you always stick with Tsuna-chan..Just tell me where you gain all that money~ -xxspicysugarxx_

Gokudera rolled his eyes. "I'm not ALWAYS with Jyuudaime, just when he needs me!"

"Gokudera, you have to answer this question. Seriously." Reborn commanded.

The Italian sighed. "I do have a job, and I got a scholarship into school."

"He works at the grocery store." Bianchi inturrupted from across the semicircle.

"Shut up." Gokudera muttered.

"Hey! Isn't it extremely hard to get a scholarship into school?!" Ryohei shouted out, obviously impressed.

"Fuck no. It's dissapointingly easy, actually."

"For you, maybe." Haru muttered.

_Gokudera...Im sorry I upset you last time :O I didnt mean to . i want to know why you smoke in the manga but not the anime. :O -bambola tempesta_

"What's up with all these goddamn faces in the questions?" Gokudera asked, rolling his bottle-green eyes. "Why do I smoke when but not when?" He looked at the question, puzzled. "Ohh. I guess smoking was a bad influence on kids or some bullshit like that. Everyone should just fucking get over it. I smoke, ok?" By now, Gokudera was visibly annoyed.

Unfortunately, it was about to get even worse.

_Gokudera-kun.. I've got another question..Which do you prefer? Yamamoto fed sushi to you? (mouth to mouth) or eat 4 plates of Bianchi's poison cooking? -xxspicysugarxx_

"Which do I fucking PREFER?! That makes it sound as if I have done either of these fucking things!"

"Um, have you?" came a voice that was unmistakeably Dino.

"Hell no! E-Especially not the first one!" he shouted, blushing deeply.

At this point, all heads in the room turned to Yamamoto, who looked as if something extremely interesting was flying through the air. Even so, it was hard to miss the slight blush that spread across his face.

"If I HAD to do one, I'm sure I could handle more than four plates of that fucking poison cooking, no problem!" It was clear that Gokudera was trying to calm down, but it wasn't going as well as it could. "I don't even like fucking sushi!"

_Gokudera: I think I might be gay. How do I tell my best friends? -gloaming grove_

"Goddamnit! What can I tell anybody about being gay?! Just tell them or some shit like that! They'll understand, right?"

"I think you're missing the point, Gokudera." Reborn sighed. This could certainly go a lot better. "But you can calm down now, there are no more questions for you this week."

The screen went blank as Gokudera sat and silently fumed. Reborn shuffled through the notecards, pulling up the next two names. "Fran and Bel."

"Shishishi. Bel is not here today, but I'd be more than happy to answer his questions." the blonde prince said from his chair, smiling scarily.

_FRAN AND BEL: are you guys you know *together* coz the way you 2 fight, it feels that you two are like a married couple...(sorry... PLS. DON'T KILL ME) -animaniac-aizel012_

"Of course I'm not with little froggy. He's just fun to mess with. I'm sure if you asked Fran, he'd give you the exact same answer." Bel smiled threateningly, as if daring anybody to contradict him.

"I guess we'll just move straight on to your questions, Belph-"

"You can call me 'prince'" the Varia smiled, interrupting the arcobaleno.

Reborn wisely said nothing, instead putting up the next question.

_Bel...why do you wear a tiara instead of a crown? Why are you so sexy as an uke and a seme? Is it because you are a prince? :O If you were real, would you let me hug you? If you had to choose, who would you want to top you? -Bambola Tempesta_

"Shishishi. You've got it perfectly. I am so sexy, but I know that even if I weren't a prince, I would be just as sexually attractive as I currently am." he paused, looking at the screen. "I suppose you could hug me, but nothing more. Also, if I didn't like you, I'd have to rip you into pieces...what do you mean by 'top me'? If you mean by go on top of me, I like my tiara, and nothing else. Shishishi, I assume it was a typo when you put 'who', instead of 'what.'"

Belphegor was one interesting person.

_To Bel: Where did you get your epic/awesome tiara? It's really cu-I mean, princely and I would like to try one. -chococookiesld_

"I'd love to tell you, but it's made only for me, and you couldn't get one. Besides, only a true prince can pull one off. You'd probably be better off with a little hat. Shishishi."

"Hibari, I understand you have somewhere you need to be, so you'll be going next." Reborn said, adressing the young prefect with the same respect he would anyone his age.

_Hibari: What would convince you to wear cat ears? Or would Mukuro have to trick you somehow? -chococookiesld_

"Why would I ever wear cat ears?" the boy asked coldly. "I doubt that idiot illusionist could trick me into it either." HIbari sank into his chair, "This is a waste of my time, as always."

_Hibari, do you have a favorite singer? if so, what genre? -bambola tempesta_

"A favourite singer? I don't waste my time with such a trivial thing as music. If I did, I wouldn't be able to protect Namimori from people such as the idiots asking these questions..."

_Hibari, I have some idiotic herbivores causing problems in my P.E. class, they won't leave me alone so my question is this, how would you get rid of them?-Teara_

"Did I not already answer something shockingly like this? Herbivores only flock with each other, so you must be a herbivore yourself." Hibari begun to fiddle with his tonfa, an obvious sign that this was taking too long.

_Hibari: How did you learn about Namimori and come to protect it and care for it so much? -chococookiesld_

"...This is the least logical thing I've been asked in a year. I live here." he pointed out icily. "Why wouldn't I care for it?" Without further ado, Hibari stood up, and walked offstage, not to come back for a week.

With the cloud guardian gone, the audience breathed a sigh of relief, and began talking among themselves, as usual.

"Tsuna, why don't you go next." Reborn mused, playing with his shirtcuffs.

"Um, I guess I can..." Tsuna anwered demurely, looking up at the screen. Thankfully for him, there was only one question.

_Dear Tsuna, Who would you rather have as a secret lover: (the amazingly cute) Spanner, (the amazingly hot) Xanxus, or (the... frightening) Hibari? Who would you have as a lover if everyone had to know? Thanks! -Ivy-san_

Not so thankfully, this was going to be somewhat hard to answer. Plus, this question affected not only the tenth-generation mafia boss, but two of his family as well.

"Haha, thanks, I suppose." Spanner said, a somewhat confused smile on his face.

Xanxus simply rolled his eyes. "What the hell is this? Sawada, you better answer well."

Tsuna's face went white as a ghost. He didn't know how he'd answer this, let alone after Xanxus's threat, however unintentional. The Varia boss was just...scary.

And thank God Hibari had left.

The audience laughed quietly, whispering among eachother. It was moments like these where everyone could just relax and have fun. As much as they all liked Tsuna, seeing someone this uncomfortable was pure comedy gold.

Tsuna squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "E-Even though Spanner handcuffed me to a bed once...I'd have to pick him. I'm not like that though! I like girls! It's just....Hibari would kill me...and-" He glanced over at Xanxus, fear clearly showing in his brown eyes. "Xanxus doesn't seem to like me very much, at all!"

Spanner laughed. "Don't worry, Tsuna. I only tied you to the bed so you wouldn't escape. I wasn't trying to make you too uncomfortable."

Reborn simply smirked. He was enjoying this. Perhaps too much. "Uh-huh. And Dame-Tsuna, The second part? What if everybody had to know?"

When is it that teasing becomes pshychological abuse?

It was at this point that Tsuna realized he didn't really have anything to lose. He took a deep breath. "Um- Kyoko-chan, can I talk to you when this is over?" He asked quickly, his eyes still shut tight.

Kyoko looked up at her classmate, a small smile on her lips. "Sure, Tsuna. What about?"

It seemed even Kyoko liked to tease Tsuna.

"Kyoko, we really need to move on now. Just meet Dame-Tsuna outside after the segment or something to that effect." Reborn asked the girl, putting a new question up for everyone to see.

"Mukuro, it's your turn."

The mist guardian smiling patronizingly, waiting for his questions to show up.

_To Mukuro: How far would you go to top Hibari ;D? Would you take advantage of his Sakura-Kura disease? -chococookiesld_

"Kufufu. How far?" Mukuro crossed his legs, one on top of the other, smiling slightly. "I don't think I'd have to go all that far. Maybe an illusion or two, no problem. For me, at least."

Mukuro seemed to grasp the concept of 'topping' a little better then Bel had.

"And I might take a little advantage of Hibari-kun's 'disease'. It would be a bit more fun that way, no?"

This was probably why everybody was so scared of the mist guardian.

_To Mukuro: If you keep returning from Hell, does that mean you are actually really old? If so, then how old are you? -chococookiesld_

"Of course not." Mukuro smiled. I simply go and come back. It requires no age change. But if you still want to know how old I am, I'm about the same age as Tsuna and his little friends here. Unfortunately, they're nowhere near as mature or amazing as me."

"You tell them, Boss!" Ken shouted out. Nobody had noticed, but he and Chikusa had been sitting in the back of the room since the session started.

Reborn didn't know for sure, but he was pretty confident that this was one of the weirdest mafia families...anywhere.

_To Mukuro: Do you treat Chrome only like a vessel?Or is she more important than that to you?If so,what exactly is she to you?And i think your awesome!! -starr-x3_

"Kufufu. Of course my dear Chrome is more important to me then that." he smiled. "As for our exact relationship, I'm sure you can deduce that for yourself." Mukuro said. "And thank you. I didn't need you to tell me I'm awesome, but I could never turn down a compliment."

Reborn nodded. At least Mukuro TRIED to answer the questions. "Mukuro-san, we have a question for Chrome, but as she isn't currently here, would you like to answer for her?"

"Kufufu. Of course I would. I'll answer truthfully, as I should."

_To Chrome: How do you style/imitate Mukuro's famous pineapple hair style? -chococookiesld_

"I'd say that it took a long time of practicing before she got it right. It looks cute on her, doesn't it?" Mukuro laughed to himself, pleased with the answers he'd been giving.

Nobody knew what to say to that.

"Xanxus, Bel, and Squalo, we have a couple questions for you." Reborn said, noticing the audience was getting a bit restless. "It's only a couple more questions everybody, and then you can all go home or wherever."

The audience quieted down, murmuring their general agreement.

"Reborn-san, this will continue for a few more weeks at least, won't it?" Basil said, standing up and bowing politely.

"Yes, Basil, we can count on this running a while longer." the arcobaleno smiled. He may have just taken up some of their time, but everyone liked Basil, so no hell broke loose.

_Xanxus...why do you wear those feathers? they just reveal your inner Lussuria :O Also, if you were real, would you let me hug you? And if not, what if i annoyed you until you did? :D Do you like cats?(: -bambola tempesta_

Xanxus's eyes widened slightly, and he sighed, resigned to answering.

"...I hoped I'd never tell this, but it is because of fucking Lussuria. I lost a bet, and I have to wear these goddamn things. They'll be off in four more months though." The Varia boss cocked his head in annoyance. "No, I won't let you fucking hug me, I don't even know you."

Just then, the door to the auditorium swung open. All heads in the audience, and on stage turned to look at the leather-clad figure that could be nobody but the Varia sun guardian.

"That's right Xanxus! Stranger danger! I'm proud of you for remembering, you NEVER hug somebody you don't know."

"Shut the fuck up, Lussuria." Xanxus threatened from the stage, visibly grinding his teeth.

"VOI! Lussuria, you're such a mom! And you're late anyways, why did you even have to show up!?" Squalo called out in annoyance.

"Ugh. Squalo, I wouldn't be late if you'd clean up once in a while! I left when I was done cleaning!" Lussuria pointed out indignantly, taking his seat next to Basil, who looked understandably somewhat frightened.

_Xanxus, Bel, and Squalo, who do you guys find sexiest in the Varia :D -bambola tempesta_

"Myself." was the answer, in unision, given by the three.

"Voi! Why the hell would you think that, Bel!?" Squalo shrieked in the general direction of the storn guardian.

For the thousandth time, the audience found themselves covering their ears.

"Shishishi. I'm a prince, fishy boy. It's you who should change his answer."

Xanxus just sat in silence, waiting for the next question. Hoping it would get the two Varia on the stage to shut up, Reborn projected the next question onto the screen.

_Squalo, did you ever have a goldfish as a pet? Would you ever want Bel to top you? :D -Bambola Tempesta_

"Did I ever have a GOLDFISH AS A PET?!" Squalo glared at Lussuria. If looks could kill, the mom of the Varia would be dead now. "I WOULD'VE, if fucking LUSSURIA had let me! It's not up to him what pet I can and can't have!"

"Squalo!" Lussuria cried indignantly. "I only said no because you would've eaten it within minutes of bringing it home!"

Yamamoto looked up from his seat, eyes bright. "Squalo, you're welcome to come to my house if you're craving fish!" he offered innocently.

Gokudera glared menacingly at the baseball player, who immediately drew back.

"O-Or I could bring some to you, if you want. Just tell me when you're hungry for fish." Yamamoto corrected himself, hoping this answer would please Gokudera a bit more.

"Thanks Yamamoto, but I'll go get my own goddamn fish." Squalo said, still glaring, and not breaking eye contact with Lussuria.

Reborn looked at the clock, and sighed. No matter the time, he had to finish this. "Yamamoto, your question is next."

"No problem!" The baseball player said, straightening his posture with a smile.

_Dear Yamamoto, I think you are amazing! I know you are with the equally amazing Hayato, making one of the cutest couples in Reborn existence, but if you weren't, would you be with Squalo, or with Hibari? What do you think Gokudera would do if you loved one of these two instead of him?_

Yamamoto read the question to himself silently, freezing within the first second. He looked slightly panicked, but quickly began smiling again, as if he had a plan.

"It's really nice weather today, isn't it?" he asked, addressing the cameras and audience as if this were what he was supposed to be saying.

"Yamamoto..." Reborn warned.

The rain guardian's eyes grew wide at this. "Um...I'm not with Hayato. You could ask him yourself, I'm sure he'd say the same thing."

"You need to actually answer the question, Yamamoto." Reborn stressed.

"Oh! You mean, _hypothetically_ if I was with Hayato! I get it now."

Reborn sighed. This was obviously as close as it was going to get. He looked over at Gokudera, who looked like he would rather be anywhere but here. He also looked as if he would very much like to shoot the rain guardian as soon as possible.

Yamamoto continued with a smile. "_Hypothetically_, If I was with Hayato, it would be because I loved him. And sinc-if I loved him, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else, so he doesn'-wouldn't have to worry." Yamamoto concluded, still smiling.

Gokudera covered his face with his hands. "Fucking idiot." he muttered. How did the baseball idiot learn the word 'hypothetically' in the first place?

The next question appeared on the screen as quickly as the others had.

_Yamamoto and Ryohei: How do you guys keep yourselves in shape? -XxSpicySugarxX_

"Ryohei, I need you to answer, even though you're not onstage right now." Reborn prompted as the boxer stood up.

"Will do!" Ryohei shouted, mock-saluting the arcobaleno. "I personally am always training to the extreme, so I'd think that keeps me in shape! Also, I only eat foods that are really good for you, I can't have my diet keeping me down!" he finished with a smile, sitting down.

Yamamoto laughed, leaning his head in his hands. "That goes double for me. If I'm not with my friends or my dad, I'm busy practicing baseball! Sometimes they're even kind enough to help me. And I drink lots and lots of milk, it builds strong bones, and makes you taller." he looked over at Gokudera. "And I know you hate milk, but that's why I keep telling you you have to drink it!"

Reborn was never more exited to get to the end of a question session.

"Spanner-san, it's your turn."

_Spanner, why do you always suck on a lolipop? what flavor is it? can i have one? *gives puppy dog look of doom* -khope_

Spanner, like many before him, looked slightly confused. "Sure, I'd like to give you one, but I don't even know where you are...The flavour changes whenever I'm in the mood, right now I like orange best..."

_Spanner~ would you be super nice and tell me where i can find your lollipop recipes so i can make some? -Bambola Tempesta_

The mechanic's eyes grew wide as realization dawned on him. "You can make them? I've been buying them at the grocery store for as long as I can remember...sometimes I see Hayato there." he stated, pointing towards the bomber, who simply rolled his eyes.

"We're almost done." Reborn assured the crowd. "Dino, you're up."

Dino set Enzio down, and looked up at the screen. "Ready!"

_Dino...why dont you carry a picture of one of your subordinates with you instead so you wont be clumsy all the time? -bambola tempesta_

"Ahaha. We've actually tried that, it didn't work." he smiled. I was taking a walk, and I ended up tripping over a rock, and a log, and then I dropped Enzio into a pond...I'm not quite sure why it doesn't work though," the mafioso finished with a smile, as if recalling a fond memory.

_Dino-san, do you ever bathe enzio? If I recall enzio will turn into huge size when it gets wet.. xxspicysugarxx_

Dino looked over at Reborn. "Um, do turtles need baths? I never bathe him, so if they do, I suppose I need to take better care of him." he looked down at Enzio worriedly. "I'm sorry! I didn't know...we'll figure out a way to give you a bath as soon as we get home!"

"Dino-san, Turtles don't need baths." Nana said, smiling kindly. This was the first thing she'd said all day. "Tsu-kun used to have a pet turtle, so I read up on their care before we bought it. Don't worry, I'm sure you're treating Enzio very well."

"Nana, it's your turn."

_Nana, how is it that the house is always repaired so quickly and that the damage goes, for the large part, unnoticed? Do the neighbors ever complain and, if they do, how is it dealt with? Also, do you find it strange that there are so many sales advertised and yet so few to be found? -gloaming grove_

Tsuna's mom sighed, flashing back to a more peaceful time, before the 'mafia game' was introduced.

"Everyday, when Tsuna and his friends are out, I try my best to fix the house up. If I can't do it on my own, I get a freind or two to help out. The neighbors have complained once before, the first time, but for some reason, nobody ever seems to notice anymore." she sighed. "Still, I wouldn't change a thing. Tsuna's happy, and I'm happy. What's a little damage to the home when you're surrounded by freinds? As for the second part, I suppose that's just what stores have to do. It's kind of hard to feed so many people, but we manage." Nana smiled. Everything she had just said was completely honest.

"I want to be like you someday!" Haru interrupted from the crowd.

"That's sweet, Haru. You're welcome over any time. All of you." Nana offered, looking out at the crowd with a smile.

"Bianchi, we have a few questions for you as well." Reborn said as the girl shifted in her seat.

_To Bianchi: Who taught you how to cook? And how do you think of new Poison Cooking Recipes? -chcococookiesld_

"Well, while Hayato-kun was practicing piano, I practiced cooking. My mom tried to teach me, but she was never that good. I suppose that's how I learned. I come up with new recipies like all good cooks do, through trial and error." she smiled. "And just a tip. Your cooking is always better if you put love into it."

"Thank you, Bianchi." Reborn said, pressing the button, and causing the last questions to appear on the screen. "The last questions are for me."

_Reborn, how do I get my hands on a Bovino family apology basket? Without risking death-by-explosion? -gloaming grove_

"You'd have to do something involving the stupid cow that was threatening to your safety. I'm not sure if you need to risk getting blown up." he glanced up from the card. "As you can imagine, I have quite a few. If you send me an adress, I can get one mailed to you. I have more than i know what to do with." The audience just laughed. Most of them were in possesion of at least one of these baskets, and nobody really knew what to do with them.

_Dear Reborn, in adult form, could you seduce Adult!Lambo? - ireadtoomanybooks_

"I'm not sure why I would want to do that." Reborn deadpanned. "I'm also pretty sure I could, though I'm not in a hurry to find out."

_To Reborn: How did you get an awesome pet like Leon?! I wish I had a cool pet like him. -chococookiesld_

"Unfortunately, I can't tell you where I got Leon. All I can say is that if you want a chameleon, the best thing to do would be to go to your local pet store. You won't find one quite like Leon though, so I wouldn't get my hopes up."

Reborn looked at the clock for the second time that day. It had taken an hour, but it was over.

The crowd looked at Reborn for a dismissal, and all rose at a wave of his hand.

"I want you all back here next week, same time, same place." he called out after the quickly dispersing crowd.

Out of the corner of his eye, he barely caught a glimpse of Tsuna and Kyoko walking out together, laughing.

_'Well, at least this wasn't a waste of time for everybody_.' the arcobaleno thought, smiling.


	5. Chapter 5

The audience was even more rowdy than usual as Reborn entered. Sweeping a critical eye over the many people gathered in the seats, the arcobaleno sighed.

"Today's session shall also be very long. Wait patiently until it's over," he announced, and received a not-so-welcome reply. Meaning, many of the less patient people seated began to make very disagreeable noises.

"Shut up," sighed the hitman, transforming Leon into a gun and effectively silencing the audience. Much better.

Getting straight to the point, Reborn called up the day's interviewees. "I need Yamamoto, Dino, Hibari, Mukuro, I-pin, Gokudera, Fuuta, Squalo, Xanxus, Dame-Tsuna, Lambo, Lussuria, Bel and Fran on the stage now."

The named mafioso made their ways onto the stage, albeit with a bit of annoyance, Tsuna tripping over the stairs, Hibari and Mukuro trying to kill each other, and Dino trying to stop the fight and effectively knocking out everyone else.

But all in all, everything was going well.

"Alright, question time!"announced Reborn once everyone was (relatively) safe on stage. "First is Fuuta."

The young boy stepped forward with a smile. "I'm ready, Reborn-san!" he exclaimed happily.

The arcobaleno nodded and the first question showed up on the screen.

_Fuuta, How come you can communicate with the Ranking Planet?  
-chococookiesld_

The boy grinned. "I was born with this ability! I don't know why, but it's great! The planet is really friendly! It even invited to me to a tea party once, but I was busy!"

This reply left the audience wondering how someone was supposed to attend a tea party with a distant planet, but they simply concluded that both Fuuta and the ranking planet were both a bit... 'strange'.

The screen flashed, and another question was revealed.

_Fuuta,  
Don't you worry or have back problems from carrying that heavy Ranking Book around?  
-chococookiesld_

The child scratched his head sheepishly. "It gives me horrible back problems! I'm actually about as tall as Tsuna-nii, or maybe even taller, but my back his so hunched that I'm shorter than everyone else!"

This resulted in a lot of surprise in the audience, as they looked from the little child to Tsuna, who was taller even in his sitting position.

"Okay, that's all for Fuuta. Next is Lussuria." The boy smiled and waved before walking back to his seat.

"Ooh, I think this is my first time up here! I'm so excited~~" gushed Lussuria, dancing around the stage.

"Your question," stated Reborn, ignoring the man's antics. The next question popped up onto the large screen.

_Lussuria, I think you are super awesome! Will you be my sister? :D  
- Arashi no Bakumaru_

The Varia's Sun guardian shook his hips. "I'm so flattered! Of course I will, my dear!" he accepted with a large smile. "But of course, that's only if you will be my brother!"

Of course, Lussuria completely topped the audience's list of 'strange' people at that moment.

"Alright, next is Yamamoto," continued the infant, unaffected as usual.

Laughing, the tall teenager stepped forward. "Let's go, little guy!" he said, with his usual large smile.

_Yamamoto, Did you never realise your inner pervert until you met Gokudera? How much of a life-changing experience was it for you?  
-Arashi no Bakumaru_

"Haha, Oyaji asked me this as well! Hayato said the correct answer was 'You're not counted as a pervert if it's only directed towards one person'!" announced the baseball player without hesitation.

Then, thinking carefully, he continued. "But the first time I saw him naked was definitely a life-changing moment..."

The result of this statement was many very-red audience members.

Still unaffected, Reborn pressed the button for the next question.

_Yamamoto, Do you read porn or do something else to...RELIEVE those sexual urges-with Gokudera ;D?  
-chococookiesld_

The resulting outburst did not come from the Rain guardian. "Oi, you! Have you been cheating on me!?" yelled Gokudera, brandishing his dynamite. Then he realised what he had just said. "I-I mean...uh... have you been doing something that might give the Family a bad name?" stammered the bomber.

Tsuna sighed. "Gokudera-kun, please stop trying to cover it up. Everyone knows anyway, and all you're doing is embarrassing yourself, and hurting Yamamoto."

The Storm guardian stared at his boss. "J-Jyuudaime, y-you KNEW?!" When the brunette nodded,

the taller boy blushed deeply. "B-But... since when?"

This time, it was the other boy's turn to blush. "W-Well, um, my hyper intuition just kind of... helped me find out." But he was quickly stopped by Ryohei, who butted in.

"ONE TIME WHEN WE WENT TO VISIT YAMAMOTO WE HEARD SOME EXTREME MOANS COMING FROM HIS ROOM!" roared the Sun guardian. When the boxer realised that he hadn't really helped, he dropped the subject.

After the peace had returned, Yamamoto answered his question. "No, I don't, but you've probably already figured that out, haha!" he said, scratching his head awkwardly.

Reborn shook his head at the stupidity of the boys, but continued without a word.

_Yamamoto, Would you kiss Hayato's lips if he willingly let you do it?  
-shizu Fumikari_

The swordsman's wide smile returned. "I do even if he doesn't let me! In fact, that's not all that I do!" he laughed, and Gokudera growled, remembering all the times that he had been molested by the taller teen.

"Alright, next up is Bel," stated the arcobaleno immediately.

"Ushishishi..." chuckled the knife wielder as he moved forward. "Finally. All those peasants were boring me." He received many noises of displeasure from the 'peasants' but was otherwise ignored.

"First question," stated Reborn, and the words appeared.

_Bel, Family are supposed to love each other (So I'm told). And I'm sure twins (Especially identical ones) are really close. But looking at you and Rasiel, a question comes to mind. What made you hate each other?_

The 'prince' frowned. "That idiot doesn't look anything like me. Don't mention that name again."

Many listeners shuddered at the sudden drop in the auditorium's temperature, and decided to keep silent.

The next question zoomed onto the screen.

_Bel, Why did you kill your family?_

"Those fools were absolutely worthless, and keeping them alive would just make me have to wait until I became king." His scary smile returned at the memory. "It was fun, too~" he added.

Though the smile had returned, the original temperature hadn't.

Reborn frowned, but said nothing and pressed the button.

_Bel, Exactly when are you supposed to become king?_

"Ushishishi... Soon..." though he seemed unfazed, it was obvious that he himself was unsure.

Fran spoke. "I bet that since you killed your whole family, there's no one to make you king anymore... Ouch." Three knives poked out of the boy's back.

"Ushishishi... Shut up, froggy."

Reborn interrupted before something else could happen, deciding that he wanted no deaths. "Next."

_Bel You do know that the shiny thing on your head is a tiara, don't you?_

The assassin's grin grew wider. "You may think so, but it's actually a very beautiful crown."

No one could be bothered to contest him, because they had all asked him the same question before.

The screen flashed to reveal the next question.

_Bel, If you're a genius like you say you are, why don't you know the difference between a crown and a tiara?_

A few laughs rang out from the audience, but they were ignored. "Who do you think you are, questioning my genius? If my royal-self decrees that it's a crown, then it's a crown. People who doubt me shall be executed." As if emphasizing.

"No destroying Vongola property," stated Reborn. "Alright Bel, you can take a break. We'll do the rest of your questions later."

The Varia Storm guardian frowned. "Ushishishi... I'm not like you weaklings. I don't need a break."

"Haah, Bel-sempai, I want a turn too!" whined Fran. The blonde frowned at him and moved backwards, but not before more knives appeared in the new Varia member's back.

"Alright, next is Hibari."

The prefect glared at everyone as he stepped forward, but they simply passed this off as nothing unusual.

"First question," announced the arcobaleno.

_Hibari, What kind of bird is Hibird?-chococookiesld_

"That should be obvious. He is a ruthless-killer-Namimori-bird," answered the prefect without batting an eyelash. "If you're not careful, he'll bite you to death."

The listeners watched the fluffy creature sceptically as it began to sing the Namimori-Middle anthem.

"Next," said Reborn as he pressed a button.

_Hibari, What would you do if Hibird was a girl and had eggs/chicks? -chococookiesld_

"How dare you," growled the Cloud guardian. "My bird is not gender-confused. I wish the same could be said for these herbivores."

Dino tutted. "Just because I like men doesn't mean I'm gender-confused, Kyouya! Anyway, you like men too!"

A tonfa was raised. "You do not count as a man in the very few situations in which I enjoy your company, because those stupid subordinates are fortunately absent."

Interrupting the argument which seemed to be going in the wrong direction, Reborn pressed the button. "Next."

_Hibari, How do you keep your coat on your shoulder while you fight because it looks like it BARELY holds on your shoulders? -chococookiesld_

Hibari smirked. "That's something only carnivores can do, and I'm not about to tell all these silly herbivores here."

There was much disappointment in the audience, as they had all tried to figure it out before, and had only been able to narrow the possibilities to three: Hibari was an excellent at sewing (from Bianchi), he had some special-amazing-beautiful technique that could make his annoying-troublesome-wish-they-were-see-through clothes stick together (from Dino), or EXTREME GLUE! (from Ryohei).

"Next question," continued Reborn, uncaring, because he probably already knew the answer.

_Hibari, What would you do if Hibird suddenly chose to stay at Dino's side? -shizu Fumikari_

"It's never going to happen," was the immediate answer. "My carnivorous bird would never stay with that stupid herbivore, unless it was to bite him to death."

Once more, all eyes averted to Hibird, who was currently preening his feathers and chirping cheerfully.

"Next," said Reborn, breaking the silence.

_Hibari, Why do you say Kamikurosu/I'll bite you to death? -chococookiesld_

Hibari glared at the screen. "Because all herbivores that crowd shall be bitten to death. There is no other reason." The prefect raised his tonfas. "Would you like to try?"

But Reborn stepped in. "No damaging Vongola property, as I mentioned before. Your next question is coming."

_Hibari, Where do you get your kick-ass tonfa?- chococookiesld_

The Cloud guardian's murderous expression did not change. "As I said, I will not share information with useless herbivores. Prove to me that you are worthy of being considered a carnivore, and I may say something. But of course, that is impossible for people like you."

Reborn pressed the button with a slight smirk. He was most certainly a carnivore, but he had no interest in Hibari's weak sticks of metal.

_Hibari, If the whole Vongola Family had pompadours would you let them be part of the School Disciplinary Committee? -chococookiesld_

"Hmpf. Those herbivores have annoyed me enough. I do not want any more association with them," the prefect growled at the screen. The mentioned family members chose to protect themselves, and remained silent.

"Next question," added Reborn.

_Hibari, What did you first think when you saw Fon, your chibi Chinese look-alike? -chococookiesld_

"Who?" asked the teen with a deep glare. "You'd better not be talking about my father."

The gasps of surprise echoed around the room. Fon, Hibari? What kind of person would give birth to Hibari??!!

The prefect's glare intensified, if that was even possible. "Do not talk about him."

"Alright," continued Reborn as if nothing had happened. "Next is Gokudera."

"I'm ready, Reborn-san!" announced the Storm guardian enthusiastically. "As the Tenth's right-hand man, I will answer everything that you throw at me!"

"Shut up and start," yelled Xanxus, throwing a large glass of wine at the silver-haired, which exploded in his face.

"You-!!" Gokudera stopped, before turning around to look at Tsuna, who was desperately making hand movements which said, "Don't die, Gokudera-kun!" So the bomber decided to let it pass, for now.

"First question," deadpanned Reborn, and the screen flashed.

_Gokudera, How much dynamite do you carry in that alternate universe in your clothes? -chococookiesld_

"That's not possible!" yelled the Storm guardian. "There's no such thing as an alternate universe that hides in your clothes! As a monthly follower of 'The Wonders and Mysteries of The World', I can say this with confidence!" he added, brandishing a large magazine.

Reborn smirked. "Don't trust that magazine Gokudera. The Mafia does not follow the simple boundaries of this world. Next."

_Gokudera, We all know you are the universal uke, other than Tsuna here, and that, yes you are definitely with Yamamoto. Do you sometimes have this secret desire to top Yamamoto, just for once? And the reason you wore so many belts, is it because Yamamoto pulls down your pants too often? -Arashi no Bakumaru_

The teen took a moment to read the question, before gasping in disbelief. "Since when was I a universal uke?! Only one person tops me, ever!!"

It was nice to know that they (we all know who 'they' refers to) were loyal to each other.

Continuing, Gokudera spoke softly, "And I've been on top a few times, if that's what you mean. Though it hasn't always been good." He shuddered involuntarily afterwards.

Yamamoto spoke up. "Hayato was really drunk one night, so when he got home, he tied me to the bedposts, and then..." The Rain guardian looked around. "Haha, I guess that's too much information! But it wasn't good, it was amazing!" He was stopped by two sticks of dynamite exploding in his face, which caused him to fall off the stage and be rendered unconcscious for the rest of the session.

"As for the belts, it was the fashion in Italy when I left," continued the bomber. "I guess... I just found out another benefit of having them." Gokudera blushed slightly, before clearing his head.

"Next interviewee is Squalo," announced Reborn, and the said-man stepped forward.

"VOII!!! IT'S FINALLY MY TURN!!!" The room shook, and people blocked their ears once more.

He glared at the screen, which flashed and showed his question.

_Squalo, It's obvious that Xanxus isn't going to become the 10th boss of the Vongola any time soon, so why don't you drop the oath/vow and cut your hair already?_

"...I like my hair like this! Don't you think it suits me?" Squalo replied with a smile. Yes, a SMILE. Who would have known that Squalo was a hair-freak?

The screen flashed once more.

_Squalo, You have very nice hair, what shampoo do you use? -chococookiesld_

Squalo smiled even wider at the screen. "Why thank you! It does look very nice, doesn't it?" he gushed (0.o), twirling the long strands between his fingers. "I would like to be able to tell you what kind of shampoo I use, but then Xanxus wouldn't say that my hair is beautifully unique anymore!" The swordsman giggled, and all the others in the room- except for Reborn- were painfully silent.

"Alright then, next question," announced the arcobaleno, and the screen flashed once more.

_Squalo, Do you realize you have a twin swordsman look-alike in a separate series who is probably more badass than you? (You know, long silver hair, very, very long sword, and super powerful? Here's a hint: He's from Final Fantasy ;D -chococookiesld_

The scary smile thankfully disappeared. "VOOIIII!!!! As if any swordsman could be more badass than me! AND NO ONE CAN BEAT MY HAIR!!!!" The Varia Rain guardian waved his arm/sword around crazily, while he continued to rant. Before a well-aimed glass of wine struck him in the side of his head.

"Now that Squalo has calmed down, let's get back to Bel," announced Reborn, and the 'prince' emerged once more, laughing creepily.

_Bel, How do you feel about Fran replacing Mammon? Do you think Fran's perfect for the job? Or do you think the Varia could've found someone better?_

"Ushishishi... The little froggy is completely useless. But so was Mammon, after all. None of them can ever compare to my royal blood," answered the blonde.

Reborn accepted this as an answer, and pressed the button again.

_Bel, Are you involved in an arranged marriage?_

"Hmm... I'm sure that there's no one out there that could be good enough for me... I am the Prince, after all," he answered. "But no one could force me into something like marriage anyway. They would be excecuted." The knife-wielder cackled at the thought of blood.

The screen flashed once more.

_Bel, What's with the hat you force Fran to wear?_

"Ushishishi... Don't you think it suits him? Makes him look even more froggy than usual." The Varia Storm guardian laughed once more, and many members of the audience shuddered.

"Next," continued Reborn, and the following question appeared.

_Bel, Do you know or are you related to Pantera?_

The interviewee frowned. "Who is that? Does he have royal blood as well?" But the frowned quickly changed into a grin. "I'll just have to eliminate him," continued the prince, pulling out his knives.

The screen flashed again.

_Bel, Don't you think Fran's cute?_

"Of course... He's a little froggy! Ushishishi..." Fran made a noise of distaste and others added Bel to today's 'strange' list, next to Lussuria.

"One more question for you," announced the Sun arcobaleno, and he pressed the button.

_Bel, If you're a prince why do you let Xanxus boss you around and stuff. I know he's your boss and all, but doesn't 'prince' beat 'Mafia boss' any day?_

The Varia Storm guardian grinned. "Of course boss is someone that I listen to. His influence will make me a better king. And I like my job in the Varia." After another quick laugh, he added, "Killing is fun~~"

"Bel-sempai, I bet you're just scared of him~~" added Fran, who promptly received many knives in his back.

Interrupting many shudders, Reborn announced, "Next is Dino."

The screen flashed to show the Mafia Boss' question.

_Dino, Do you want Hibari be your little bro? You can hug him everyday~ -shizu Fumikari_

"WHAT!!?? NO!!" The bronco waved his arms around flusteredly. "Because that would be like... INCEST!!" The man continued to rant, and promptly fell down next to Yamamoto, and was also knocked out for the rest of the session.

Reborn tutted at his former student's uselessness, but he decided to let it pass, for now. "Next is I-Pin."

The Chinese girl stepped forward. "I-Pin is ready for questions!" she announced happily.

The screen flashed.

_I-Pin, When do you make your Gyouza since you seem so busy lately? -chococookiesld_

The girl smiled. "Master makes them for me! I-Pin is very thankful to him! He always makes sure that I have enough!" She turned slightly, but Tsuna rushed forward before she could catch a glance of Hibari.

Reborn smirked. "Since you're up here already, you can go next, Dame-Tsuna."

The Boss-in-training nodded. "A-Alright," he stammered, and he turned to the screen.

_Tsuna, What brand of hair wax do you use? The one I used promised me volume but my hair's still flat, but yours had LOTS of volume! - Arashi no Bakumaru_

"I-I think I already answered this before..." commented the brunette nervously.

Reborn sighed. "Who cares? Answer it again, Dame-Tsuna."

"A-Alright. My hair is always like this; it's natural. It's not because of my shampoo or anything! But I use whatever shampoo my mother buys for me, usually. It really depends on what she feels like."

Reborn accepted this, and continued without a word.

_Tsuna, In the 10-year Arc, why didn't you just bribe Byakuran with marshmallows? -chococookiesld_

The teen blinked slowly up at the screen. "Umm... I don't think that would have worked. He did have an unlimited supply, after all." He sighed slightly before continuing. "Our funds were quite low, so nothing we could buy would work."

The screen flashed to show the next question.

_Tsuna, What do you think of Fran? Would you kiss him? And don't you think he's cute?_

"W-Well," stuttered the brunette, "I don't really know anything about him, so I probably wouldn't kiss him..." He looked over to the other boy. "I guess... He's not ugly?"

Reborn nodded in agreement. "Alright, next is Fran."

The Varia Mist guardian stepped forward. "Wow, it's finally my turn. I've been waiting forever."

The arcobaleno kept silent and pressed the button.

_Fran, What's your origin? Because no one knows. Are you Japanese? Are you Italian? Or are you something else?_

The green-haired boy deadpanned. "Sometimes I wonder as well. Hmm..." He became lost in thought, before a few knives struck his back.

"Ushishishi... Get on with it, froggy. I'm bored," explained Bel with a grin.

Noting this, Reborn hurried on.

_Fran, Forget all the comments Bel makes. But seriously (and no offense), do you know that you resemble a frog, a lot?_

"That's only because of the frog hat. Without it, I don't look like a frog at all..." The boy began to ponder. "Sempai doesn't ever let me take it off."

This comment left many people feeling sorry for the current interviewee.

"Next question," continued Reborn.

_Fran, If you're in your 20's, why do you act like a gothic teen?_

The boy stared at the screen. "I'm in my 20's? Wow... Do I really act like a gothic teen? I always thought that I was pretty normal, especially when I used Bel-sempai as an example... Ouch."

He now had a considerable sum of ornate knives poking out of his back.

Without a care for the interviewee's safety, Reborn continued.

_Fran, Why did you join the Varia? (Apparently, you were kidnapped by Bel)_

"Hmm... Well I was bored, because (**MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT**) Mukuro-sensei was stuck in prison, so I decided to find something to do." The boy flipped around. "I didn't expect to meet something like that though," he added, pointing at Bel, who frowned but couldn't find an empty space on the other's back for his knives.

"Then, next question," announced Reborn.

_Fran, Why do you add 'sempai' at the end of Bel's name?_

The green-haired illusionist whined. "Haah~? I thought that would have been obvious! He's my sempai of course!" But turning once more, he spoke again. "...For a sempai, he's pretty stupid, though."

Bel laughed creepily. "For a kouhai, you're beyond stupid. Don't try to compare to the prince." He played with his knives threateningly.

Reborn glared at the two, before pressing the button.

_Fran, Why don't you ever show your emotions? And how can you withstand pain?_

"...I don't have emotions. I've always been like this... And withstanding pain is easy, because Bel-sempai is weak..."

The blonde-haired prince decided that he would throw knives into Fran's legs instead.

"Next is Lambo," continued Reborn, dismissing the two Varia members.

"Nyahahahah! Lambo-sama is here to answer for you!" The toddler ran around the stage in large circles.

Reborn did his best to ignore the boy, and the screen flashed.

_Lambo, How much stuff can you HIDE in that amazing afro? -chococookiesld_

"LOTS!! LOTS AND LOTS OF CANDY!! AND IT'S ALL LAMBO-SAMA'S!!" The boy began to laugh obnoxiously once more.

"Shut up, ahoushi," said Reborn, sending a swift kick to the toddler's head.

The boy rolled backwards slightly, before picking himself up with teary eyes. "Ka...ma...su!" He began to cry, and pulled out his Ten-Year Bazooka before shooting himself with it.

As the smoke cleared, a familiar voice was heard. "Yare yare... I didn't think I'd be coming back to these interview sessions... Oh well. I'll do my part."

Reborn nodded. "Just in time. There's a question for you."

_TYL Lambo, What happened to your afro when you grew up?- chococookiesld_

"I cut it off... After all, I couldn't look like Crybaby Lambo forever, could I? So I got a new look, and I've changed." The answer was spoken with confidence, but another swift kick from Reborn hit the teen harshly.

"Ka...ma...su!" he cried, before running off the stage with tears streaming from his eyes.

Reborn tutted, before moving on. "Next is Xanxus."

The Varia boss frowned, but stepped forward without a word.

_Xanxus, You've never smiled once in your life, have you?_

"Of course I have. See?" Many members of the audience turned away at the horrible deformation of the interviewee's face.

Deciding to end the torture, Reborn hurriedly pressed the button.

_Xanxus, Do you know what you get when you take the X's out of your name XD? -chococookiesld_

It took a few moments for the reader's to figure it out, but soon there was laughing echoing throughout the auditorium.

"Shut up, trash!" growled the man. "My name was purposely created with the double X! No one may take them out!"

The audience quieted down, albeit slowly.

The arcobaleno spoke. "Next is Mukuro."

"Kufufu... Finally, I can have the spotlight." The illusionist strode forward purposefully.

_Mukuro, Did you know there is a butler who looks ALMOST like you and is closely associated with Hell too? (I'm talking about Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji)-chococookiesld_

"Oh really... Is he anywhere as good-looking as I am?" The Mist guardian grinned. "And my version of Hell must certainly be better than his. After all, I have no wish to be a simple butler."

"Next question," said Reborn immediately afterwards.

_Mukuro: (Related to above question) If you had to work and dress as a butler, who in KHR would you serve?_

"Kufufu... As I said, I have no wish to be a butler. But if I had to... I guess I would choose Tsunayoshi-kun. That way, I'd have more chances to gain his body."

At that moment, Tsuna made sure that he'd never ask Chrome to do any butler-related tasks.

"Then, next," continued Reborn.

_Mukuro, If you found an unconscious Hibari at your mercy, what would you do to him (and you can't say "Kill him!" :O) -chococookiesld_

"Oh? Why ever not? That is exactly what I would do," answered the man while smirking. "Kufufu... I guess my second choice would be to gain control of his body... He is trusted by Tsunayoshi-kun, after all."

Hibari growled. "I'll never give you such an opening." But Reborn stopped the fight before it could start.

"Next question."

_Mukuro, Would you ever consider Fran as more than a student?_

"Kufufu... He's barely a student, annoying as he is," replied the man, poking his trident through the green-haired boy's head.

"Ouch, that was mean, sensei," whined the Varia Mist guardian, but he said nothing more.

"Then, the next question is coming," said Reborn.

_Mukuro, What inspired your unique pineapple hair style? -chococookiesld_

The illusionist sighed. "How many times do I have to say this... It's NOT A PINEAPPLE!!" He was obviously holding himself back from destroying the entire place. "It is simply my hair, and it has nothing to do with pineapple at all!"

"Alright," said Reborn quickly. "Today we have some group questions. Anyone in the group may answer."

The audience groaned at the thought of more questions, but they still watched as the screen flashed.

_Everyone in the Varia (Except Fran), When you first saw Fran, did you think that he was a girl and not a guy? (Don't lie! And no offence, Fran!)_

A gasp was heard from the seats. "Y-You mean that Fran is a GUY??!!" exclaimed Levi in shock.

"Well of course, my dear Levi! Though I must admit, it is hard to tell~~!" replied Lussuria evenly.

Fran simply sat looking at his fellow Varia members without expression.

"Then, next question."

_Bel & Fran, What do you think of each other?_

The answers 'stupid sempai' and 'stupid kouhai' were heard at the same time, before a few more knives appeared in Fran's legs.

Reborn sighed. "Next."

_Bel & Fran, What's your relationship with each other? Cos the way you two act, it's like you have a love/hate thing going on._

"Ushishishi... It's simple. He's my stupid kouhai, and I am his amazing prince of a sempai." Bel grinned up at the screen.

"But Bel-sempai and I have nothing else. He's too stupid and creepy for me." Fran gave a quick 'ouch' as his legs were filled with more knives, making him look like some kind a porcupine.

"Next."

_Ryohei and Squalo, Don't you two get sore throats or lose your voice from yelling "EXTREME" and "VOI" so much? Or do you two eat A LOT of cough drops? -chococookiesld_

"OF COURSE NOT! EXTREME MEN DO NOT NEED THINGS LIKE COUGH DROPS! MY EXTREME VOICE DOES NOT SUFFER!!" yelled Ryohei immediately, and the walls shook.

"VOI!!! Stupid trash like all of you wouldn't understand!" added Squalo, who was twirling his hair.

"Oi! Your hair is EXTREME!! You should join my boxing club!" offered the Sun guardian to the swordsman who immediately began to blush and speak about how flattered he was.

Ignoring the duo, Reborn pressed the button firmly.

_Bel & Fran, What was your first impression of each other when you first met?_

"Well, I thought that Bel-sempai was stupid and creepy." A pause. "In fact, I still do."

"Ushishishi... Stupid froggy, the prince doesn't care about your opinion. I can have you executed immediately if you don't watch your tongue." More knives.

"Next question is coming."

_All 7 Vongola Guardians: Who is your favourite Varia member?_

"Umm... They're all pretty scary to me!" confessed Tsuna. But after a "They're all annoying herbivores," from Hibari, the brunette turned red. "I-I guess we defeated them, right, so maybe they're not so bad!"

Lussuria jumped in. "Of course, all of them must like Madame Lussuria, because I'm so lovable~~!!" An awkward silence followed.

"Alright then," interrupted Reborn. "

"Ushishishi... All those stupid girls out there don't interest me. None are good enough to become the queen!" Bel grinned evilly out at his audience.

Fran spoke. "I didn't know that you were gay, Bel-sempai!" But many, many more knives began to appear all over his body, until his Varia uniform could barely be seen from his back. "Ouch."

Raising an eyebrow at this display, Reborn pressed the button.

_All 6 Varia Members, Who is your favourite Vongola Guardian?_

"Oh my, I can't decide! All of them are just my type~~!" gushed Lussuria, twirling around madly.

But Xanxus growled at him. "Stop that, you trash. You're just as bad as those weaklings." This received a few growls from some of the guardians, but they were ignored.

"Oh, Xanxus, you don't mean that, my dear! I know that deep down inside you love all of us~~!" The Varia Sun guardian easily dodged the wine glasses that were thrown at him.

"Then," announced Reborn, "today we have a special guest. May I introduce Byakuran."

"HII! You mean... THAT Byakuran is coming here?!" Tsuna yelped worriedly.

But the infant simply ignored him as a second screen rolled down, to reveal the Millefiore Boss' smiling face.

"How pleasant to see you all~" greeted the man, playing with a marshmallow between his fingers. "I'm here for my question~"

"Alright, here it is," replied Reborn, pressing the button.

_Byakuran, How long can you last without eating marshmallows? -chococookiesld_

"Hnn? Well, that's a good question! I've never tested it before!" answered the white-haired man with a smile. Then his tone deepened, sending shudders throughout the room. "I suggest that none of you attempt to find out, or it won't be pretty."

But the smile returned immediately. "Well, if that's all, I'll be taking my leave now~! It was nice talking to all of you~!" The screen darkened and began to roll itself up.

"Well, that's it for today. Make sure you are here on time for the next session," concluded Reborn, and there were many sighs of relief as the long session drew to a close.

* * *

**A/N (RainbowMushrooms): Gosh, this was 18 pages long on Word... Oh well. For the Hibari and Fon bit, I'm sorry if it shocked you. But it's possible!! And we're allowed to dream~~~. Thanks, and leave reviews!**

**A/N (Ryokou): This is our best chapter yet, written by rainbow mushrooms. ^_^ Give her a huge hand. Thanks to everyone who's reviewing, and remember that you can always ask other people questions. *cough* CDEF, Arcobaleno…*cough* Anyways, thank you for reading!**

**Special Note: To everyone who left reviews for chapter four, but didn't get their questions put up… We were kinda in a rush, and your questions came in a bit later then the others, but they'll be done as soon as we post the next chapter. I'm really sorry we didn't get to them sooner. Thanks for sending in the questions, and still feel welcome to send the questions for chapter 5 in as well, we'll make sure to get to them. *determined***


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Oh, F*ck. I'm so sorry...I don't know how to excuse the fact that I've been gone for over...a couple months. But I'll try. 1.) School. I'm sure many of you understand. 2.) I was cast in a musical. The epic saga of social injustice known as 'Les Miserables'. Our high school got eight nominations for it, and ended up going to state, nominated along with around ten other schools for best musical, out of NINETY THREE MUSICALS. (We got other nominations too, not to brag.) We literally worked on it for six months. That said, I found this all in my word documents, and edited it, and I'm posting. But there are still A TON OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS in here. So, I'd just like to ask, PLEASE DON'T SEND MORE THAN ONE QUESTION THIS TIME. I'm on summer break now, and I will be answering the questions that i didn't get to here very soon. :) Basically, only Mukuro, Hibari, 'Dera and Yama answered. You can only imagine what I didn't write yet... **

**Thank you for understanding. I seriously owe all of you. **

**-Miria 3  
**

Usually, by the time the Arcobaleno asking the questions took to the stage, the audience grew quiet. This time, however, they just got louder. The man on the stage was definitely not who they were expecting.

"Colonello?" "Where's Reborn-sama?" "This is weird to the EXTREME!"

The blonde arcobaleno simply smiled and took the microphone from its small stand, motioning for the audience to quiet down. Gradually, they did, and he began to speak.

Colonello laughed. "Alright guys, it's obviously not Reborn asking the questions today. He's on a mission, and someone had to fill in here, kora!"

Tsuna raised his hand from his seat in the second row. "Ahh, Colonello-san? What exactly is Reborn out doing? He was with me just this morning, and he didn't mention a mission..."

"He wouldn't tell me exactly what he was doing..." Colonello answered sheepishly, scratching the back of his head sheepishly, fidgeting with the small button on the podium in front of him.

"I wonder why." came a female voice from the doorway to the auditorium.

Lal Mirch walked in, accompanied by the Varia members who had been noticeably absent from the rows of seats during the time when everyone picked their seats for the segment.

"Aha, Lal, don't be like th-" Colonello began, but was cut off by the loudest of the Varia members, Squalo, who stood in the aisle next to where Irie Shouchi was sitting, and begun yelling.

"VOIIII! TRASH! GET OUT OF OUR ROW!" he screamed, glaring menacingly at the entire third row of the auditiorium.

Irie, Haru, Kyoko, and several others vacated the seats immediatley, and joined the second row, finding whatever empty seats they could, lest they bear the Varia swordsman's wrath. The Varia members sat in their 'assigned seats' (nevermind that everyone was free to sit where they liked), and smiled contentedly, with the exeption of Lussuria, who leaned over and began chastising Squalo is a hushed voice.

"Squ-kun, why do you have to be so rude! You could have just asked them politely, and I'm sure they would have moved willingly!" he scolded, ending his tirade when he realised that the audience, in a state of shock, was being exeptionally silent, and naturally heard his every word.

He smiled and waved, in the universal 'nothing to see here' gesture.

Colonello shook his head. It was his first time attending one of these question sessions, let alone hosting one.

He was definately in for a suprise.

"Ok! We need Tsuna, Gokudera, Yamamoto, Kyoko, Bianchi, Hibari..." Colonello trailed off, staring at the long list of names nervously. "Well, we need almost everyone up here." he decided, smiling brightly.

"No way, Idiot." Lal Mirch said harshly, walking up the steps leading to the podium, and standing next to Colonello. "Do you have any common sense?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "If we brought all these people up here, there would be nobody left in the audience! I suggest you all just stand up when you're called." she announced, glaring up at her former student.

"Haha! Thanks, Lal, kora." Colonello sung, wrapping his arms around her.

"D-Don't touch me!" Lal shouted, fighting to keep her composure. "And you can't call me that!" she announced, stalking off towards a chair at the edge of the stage, where she would proceed to watch the entire show.

The audience chose to ignore the way Lal looked like a tomato, and that the blush she wore was threatening to tear her pale complexion apart.

Even this didn't stop Colonello from smiling though. He looked down at the small notecard on his podium, obviously left by Reborn. 'Call Hibari up first, he will not like to be kept waiting. Also, please keep your private life private. If Lal shows up, do us all a favour, and do not touch her.'

'Well!' Colonello thought, 'Screwed that one up already!'

"Hibari-san!" he called out, ignoring the protests that rose from the audience.

"He always goes first!" "give the rest of us a turn!" "Colonello-san, I still don't get why you're here!"

"Hurry up, Herbivore. I don't need you wasting my time." Hibari stated coldly, in his usual monotone voice. The head prefect refused to stand up, instead sitting in his seat, three seats away from Yamamoto.

Colonello read off the question on the screen, as the rest of the audience sat up straight. Hearing details about one of their freinds' personal lives was always fun.

_Hibari: Which one do you love more? Namimori or Hibird? -khrhibariluv_

Hibari yawned as Hibird chirped happily from the top of the cloud guardian's head. Before Hibari could answer however, the bird fluttered over to the mist guardian, and sat on his outstretched finger.

"Kufufu~ What a sweet bird, Hibari-kun! I might just have to take him home and eat him up!" Mukuro cooed, stroking the bird lightly, and intently watching Hibari's reaction with a sweet, yet venomous gaze.

No wonder everyone was scared of Mukuro and Hibari.

"Well, I had my answer, but in light of recent events, I find it impossible to answer." he seethed, holding his tonfa in both hands menacingly, as he finally stood up.

_So for Hibari I want to know if there was a another situation like the time you lost to Mukuro cause of the Sakura illusions except you didn't get beat up, and the only way to be free and you only had two choices and that was between becoming his lover forever and then let him top you and make sweet love OR let him torture and rape you painfully where you'll end up HAVE TO PICK ONE! - Chu545_

"I don't cry." Hibari responded simply. If this question had been asked of anyone else, they would have reacted violently. This was just another of the many mysteries surrounding Hibari Kyouya.

Dino made a strangled sound upon hearing Hibari's response. "B-but Kyouya! You can't do that!" he stuttered, bolting up from his seat right next to Hibari.

"Shut up, I don't need to hear this from you," Hibari said, knocking Dino out with one well-placed hit by the tonfa.

'Oh, no wonder Reborn wanted Hibari to go first...' Colonello noted as the audience exploded with noises of concern for the Cavallone boss.

"Hibari-san, this is your last question before we let you go." Colonello explained, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek. God, these kids were scary.

_Hibari: I know you already anwswered where you live but I wanna know do you sometimes (or live) with Dino? -anon azure_

Hibari took one last glance down at the fallen man, and stalked down the aisles to the exit. "What do you think? Ask me one more thing like that, and I'll bite you to death, Arcobaleno."

With that, Hibari was gone.

"Is he always like this, kora?" Colonello asked, speaking to no one in particular.

"YES." came the unanimous answer.

Colonello sighed, looking back down to his list. His face brightened upon seeing the next name. "Oh! Tsuna-kun, it's your turn."

The audience cheered, smiling brightly and shouting words of encouragement as the brunette stood up, shaking slightly.

"It's ok, Jyuudaime! You always answer perfectly!" Gokudera shouted, his voice easily audible over the rest of the group.

"VOI! IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT UP ONE MORE TIME, I'LL SLASH YOU!" Squalo screamed, popping a few eardrums in the process.

"What the fuck did you say, you stupid fucking shark?" Gokudera yelled, standing up, as the audience shouted, attempting to calm the two silver-haired men.

"I SAID 'SHUT UP, E-" Squalo's sentence was cut off by a shriek from Lussuria as a small stick of dynamite found its way through the air, and into the Varia section.

"Gokudera-kun! You can't do that!" Tsuna screamed, fear obvious in his eyes as the audience exploded with concern.

Yamamoto simply sat there, laughing. "Maa, maa. That wasn't lit, can't you guys tell?" he asked, smiling obliviously. "When Hayato's dynamite is actually lit, he throws it harder. That was barely even a toss."

The audience stared at the swordsman in disbelief, because after a minute, the bomb didn't go off.

The conlcusion that Yamamoto only payed attention to what he liked was proven that day.

Colonello stood at the poduim, wide-eyed, and obviously quite frightened. It took a while to get used to the Vongola, that was for sure.

"Idiot." Lal Mirch scoffed, striding over to Colonello and pushing him out of the way uncerimoniously.

"Tsunayoshi. Here's your first question."

_Tsuna, I love you. Will you marry me? If not, will you marry Hibari?- Alex_

"Hiii? Ah! No, no I won't!" the Boss stuttered, earning a fond smile from his family. "I'm not even sure who you are, and besides, I want to marry Kyok-" Tsuna stopped dead in the middle of his sentence, blushing brightly. "Ah-I mean, I can't marry someone I don't know..."

"Fair enough." Lal Mirch stated. Now THIS was a no-nonsense woman.

_Tsuna: Do you think you'll be an awesome boss? - anon azure_

"Well, I don't think I'll ever be able to stand up to Vongola Primo...But I'll always do my very best." the small brunette announced, the blush almost subsiding now.

His third question flashed on the screen.

_Tsuna: Which of your guardians would you want by your side during a battle? - khrhibariluv_

Tsuna fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "See, I need all of them...I could never win any of my battles without them." He held up his small hand in an attempt to silence the crowd, who had begun loudly protesting. "I'm serious. I know I've gotten a lot stronger, but our real strength is in our family! And I-I don't know if I could do anything without you guys..." he trailed off, smiling sheepishly.

As usual, the family went wild for Tsuna's answer.

Looking at the clock, and back at the paper, Lal Mirch sighed.

"Gokudera Hayato, your turn."

Gokudera stood up, looking slightly uncomfortable. This wasn't entitrely unfounded, however, given the recent questions he had been asked. Surely enough, he paled as the first question flashed upon the screen.

_Gokudera- What would it take for you to let Yamamoto do X-rated things to you?_

The look on the bombers face was best described as 'priceless'.

"I-I wouldn't!" he protested, blushing furiously. "I'd never let that idiot touch me, ever!"

From the corner where the Vongola's mist guardian sat, a laugh rang out. "Kufufu, but Hayato-kun, what if Tsunayoshi-kun said it was ok? What if the boss ASKED you two to do something, how should I say, scandalous?"

Gokudera turned towards his boss, a look of shock evident on his face. "J-jyuudaime? You d-don't want me and the idiot to do such things, do you?"

"Hii? Gokudera-san, I never said anything like that! I-I mean, if you did, I couldn't stop you, but-"

The audience had never laughed harder in their lives.

Lal Mirch growled with dissaproval. 'These kids will never become a respectable family...'

"Gokudera!" she barked. "Your next question!"

Gokudera- If you had to go back to Italy, how would you feel?

The bomber shook his head, attempting to hide his raging blush, while simultaniously glaring at the rain guardian. Meanwhile, said rain guardian was glancing suggestively at said storm guardian.

"Given the nature of my job, I'm in Italy quite a lot, actually...as long as I avoid my old home city, I'm fine." his voice cracked slightly, "I-I'm not sure I'm quite ready to go back there yet."

_Gokudera- What are your favorite piano arrangements? Any particular composers you admire? Will you take up piano again?_

"I'll always have favourite composers, whether I play or not. Vivaldi, and Bach are two of my favourite composers. The brandenburg and 'tempest' sonata are two of my favourite arrangements. I compose pieces on my own occasionally, depending on inspirations I get...A-and I do play occasionally. I only play for one person though..." he said, blushing lightly and avoiding eye contact with a certain black-haired baseball player. Piano was obviously a touchy subject for the normally spitfire Italian.

The audience was silent, sans a few whispers here and there, but began laughing again as the next question came up.

_Gokudera-Your stats page says you are 5'6", and 118 lbs. WOULD SOMEONE FEED HIM A GODDMN SANDWICH ALRADY?_

"I eat plenty, thanks!" the bomber yelled defensively.

"No, Gokudera-kun, you really don't eat enough..." Tsuna called out from his seat. "I mean, not that it's any of my buisness anyways..."

"Oh, honey! Take better care of yourself, you're gorgeous, ok?" Lussuria commented, standing up and smiling.

This statement caused more general chaos than any comment the man had made before.

"VOI, WHAT THE FUCK, LUSSURIA?" "Ushishishi, for once, sharky is right. You can't just hit on the Vongole guardians like that..." "Ahaha, Lussuria-san, Hayato-kun IS pretty, but..." "Hahi! Lussuria thinks Gokudera-san is attractive?" Well, Haru, can you argue that?"

"EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!" The corrupted Arcobaleno yelled, rubbing her head with the palm of her hand.

"Oi, Lal, calm down, kora." Colonello whispered, again coming up behind his freind? Lover? Nobody knew what to call them anymore."If you'd like, maybe we could go back to my place, an-" he was cut off abbruptly as he was elbowed in the stomach by Lal. "Shut the fuck up." she hissed, blushing bright red, and pushing him away.

Attempting to resume her normal breathing pattern, she looked out at the audience. "Are you all ready? Ok, good." she continued, not waiting for a response.

_Gokudera: When will you tell Yamamoto you love him? Will you tell him if he were dying?_  
_(anon azure)_

Yamamoto laughed upon reading this. "Who's to say he hasn't told me already?" he asked cheerfully, as the audience whistled and cheered.

"Prove it to us!" Haru called out. Bianchi merely smirked, and Kyoko clapped.

Who knew the Vongole girls were fans of yaoi?

"Shut the hell up, Haru! I don't have to do anything you ask!" Gokudera yelled in protest.

In an attempt to quiet the audience, (and perhaps save Gokudera SOME dignity,) Colonello reached over, grabbed the button out of Lal's hand, and clicked it.

_And Gokudera, how did you feel when you found out you were gay? - khope_

The Bomber simply stood up, grabbed his coat, and walked out.

The audience was silent.

"We had one more question for him." Lal Mirch deadpanned, putting the question up.

_Hayato Gokudera: Will you take Takeshi Yamamoto as your lawful wedded husband to have and to hold, through rich and through poor for as long as the rainstorm falls?_

Try as she may, Bianchi couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, that question would've gone over well."

Colonello took the podium again. "Takeshi, the natural flow of things leads me to believe that you should go next, kora. Is that ok, kora?"

"Fine by me, Colonello-san!" Yamamoto said, the usual smile on his face.

_Yamamoto-When are you going to get the lead out and confess to Gokudera? Step up and be a man! Never be afraid to show your feelings! -insert inspirational ocean wave+sunset bullsh*t here-_

Yamamoto grinned stupidly, like usual, and sighed. "Well..." he began, "I can't, really. I mean, I'd love to. But 'Dera would probably hit me, haha."

"Is that really it?" Colonello asked, still casting suggestive glances at his fellow arcobaleno.

"Yeah...that, and he must already know. It's kind of unsaid, what's going on between us. I'll tell him when the time is right!" the baseball player exclaimed, smiling as always.

_Yamamoto-_  
_If Gokudera were to be shot, kidnapped, beaten, etc., how would you respond? And what would you do if someone else took him as a lover? (willingly is optional)-soaha_

Yamamoto stared at the screen as if he was just shot, a look reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights.

"G-Gokudera would never take someone else as a lover! At least not willingly, would he?"

To say the least, Yamamoto Takeshi was visibly shaken.

"There's no way he would!" Haru called out from the audience. Oh yeah. Was it previously mentioned that Haru and Gokudera got along extremely well, and Gokudera trusted Haru with things he wouldn't tell anyone else?

Well, it was true. At least, when the two weren't busy fighting over Tsuna's love.

"Yamamoto, Gokudera cares about you, even if he wouldn't say it for himself!" Kyoko piped in.

It was apparent that in the mafia, especially the Vongola family, nothing was a secret for long.

The audience simply thanked God that the firery bomber was still nowhere to be found after his outburst.

_Yamamoto: Is Gokudera sweet when you two are alone? How far will you go for Gokudera? - anon azure_

At this, Yamamoto smiled softly. "I don't think he'd want me to say...but between us...yeah. Gokudera isn't always how he acts around you guys. It's like...he puts up this protective barrier, but it comes down sometimes. Only if you're really lucky do you get to see him like that though. A-and I'd do anything for him." Yamamoto murmured.

_Takeshi Yamamoto: Will you take Hayato Gokudera as youre lawful wedded husband to have and to hold, through rich and through poor as long as for the rainstorms fall? - anon azure_

As he read this off the big screen, Colonello also read off a small notecard in his hand.

"Also, the questioner has forced you to respond..."

The baseball player merely laughed. "I'd love to have Gokudera-kun with me forever!" he finished, crossing his arms to cleverly avoid the question.

Colonello shook his head, smiling. "Due to the rather...untimely nature of the program, I am going to have to ask you all to take a break. We meet back her in two hours, and you MAY NOT SKIP." he announced, emphasizing the 'DO NOT SKIP.' "I'm very sorry, but I have some calls I have to take, and you all seem to need break." he said, gesturing to the fidgety audience.

With a general murmur of content at being released, the Vongola family, and visitors, stood up to leave, only to return two hours later.


End file.
